How did it come to pass -- that just one day after we show our gratitude for everything given us by the old gods and the new -- we're suddenly expected to leave our proper castles to go out into a dark and foreboding world to get more things?? You guessed it, I'm talking about Black Friday shopping. I am not a shopping lady. I never have been. That's not me.
Unlike Jon Snow, I did not take an oath to Castle Black Friday. I am not made to face the hordes of white walkers, crossing the narrow sea, nor fighting my way across Westeros to lay claim to the Iron Throne. I abhor the chaos. Chaos isn't a pit. Chaos is a ladder. Many who climb it trying to get the best bargains will fall, never to climb again.
For the night is dark and full of terrors, and even a good deal on a 65" flat-screen television isn't enough. I was born in the long summer. I will never forget who I am. The rest of the world will not. I wear it like armor, and no one can ever use it to hurt me. I fear the winter - for fear is for the long night. But our television died. It's a trick, a shadow on the wall, and a very dead television casts no shadows. Alas, my husband is a brave man, and the brave men didn't slay the dragons, they bought themselves a new television to watch them on -- at Best Buy for 20% off.
I don't plan on knitting by the fire while men fight for me. Summer will come soon enough, but a long summer means a long winter to come. I will write by the fire. That is what I do. I drink and I write things.
Now if he'd just quit playing Legend of Zelda on our new TV, I could get back to binge-watching Game of Thrones.
The things I do for love.
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This blog post is art. And tell the guy to get off your TV... for nothing is more hateful than failing to let your wife watch GoT.